Graduating from Brooklyn College should have been enough to show me that I can do more than I thought I could. I juggled work, three websites, two podcasts and school. I would work an average of 30 hours, study for 10 hours, work on podcasts for two hours and blog for a total of 10 hours a week.
It was a lot of stress. But I made it. I got through it.
Stage two of my life is set to begin in two to three weeks. I’m scared. More like terrified about what is about to happen. All of the thoughts you don’t want to run through your mind, do.
Will I find a job?
If I do get a job, will I be any good at it?
The job market is so bad. What have I done to deserve a job?
Cue in the extra pressure.
If I can’t find a job, how am I going to afford rent?
What about food?
Was school a waste, if I cannot find a job?
It feels like life is just one big ball of stress. All confidence has gone out the window. I forget all of the things that I have accomplished. Did I do anything worthwhile?
How do people who live with doubt in their lives? It feels almost impossible to do it.
I say all of those because some people have told me that I inspire them. Well, here is where you get to know that I have all sorts of emotions that run through me. I doubt myself profusely. I get up every day and hope that I can accomplish something.
With every blog, Facebook post and podcast, if I can encourage one person, then that is all that matters. That will have made my life worth living. I would be able to rest in peace.
The bottom line is that we have to believe in ourselves. If we don’t, why should anyone else believe in us?